Cynthiana Presbyterian Church
May 23, 2021
We will have
IN PERSON Worship
Sunday, May 23 at 11:00 AM!
We will continue to have
Zoom Worship Service for those who do not wish to attend IN PERSON Worship at this time.
I know many of you are still at home a lot and might be looking
for something to do to ease the boredom. I have a solution for you! In the
paragraphs below all 59 (not counting 1’s and 2’s) books of the Bible. How many
of them can you find?
My name is Samuel Levit. I customized my name because people made remarks about me being related to the furniture company Sam Levitz. My son is named Odus. Don’t ask me to explain his name the story is too complex. Odus likes music. The other day he told me he had written the song of songs. He acts like it’s the next big hit, but it left me only lukewarm. I hope he finds something else to do. I also have a daughter named Diana. She is looking so hard for a job. A Diahann Brewster called yesterday to interview my daughter. Two women, with basically the same first name, talking together on the phone, that was a most confusing conversation let me tell you! The Brewsters own a tax preparation service next door to the Francophile Monastery. Father Eugene, Sister Mary Francis, and Johnson & Johnson are clients of theirs. Father Eugene is from Romanshire, Northern Ireland. He said he studied Greek in Corinth. I answered that he is a real pro! Verbs and nouns in the Greek are difficult to learn.
I asked Mr. Brewster for tax advice. He said that tips, alms, and donations were deductible, I just need a receipt. My brother Philipp asked if travel expenses were deductible. He just came back from the Holy land. He toured Judea. The tour guide, Timothy, said that it usually costs a lot of money to take side trips unexpectedly. The tour group had asked if they could see the historic sites of the Galatians, Colossians, and the Thessalonians. The tour guide said no, but the Ephesian site is open. Philipp said a hag gained access to his travel bag. “Philipp,” I answered, “did she get your camera?” He said he had it with him or she would have. Philipp said he would be in a jam, especially with mom, if that lady had taken the camera. That’s because it belongs to her.
Philipp told me about a souvenir shop he visited. He said he saw a pez, rabbi candy dispenser. Imagine that! The woman at the counter was named Lisa. I, ah, think that was her name. Anyway, she told my brother those aren’t the ones she ordered. She had ordered a rabbi statue along with pez dispensers, but the manager, Joe, let the stock boy practice ordering that day. “Do you like them,” she asked. “The company said I can reorder any number should the need arise.” Lisa said the rabbi pez dispenser was endemic; a holy man designed them. I believe the holy man is legitimate, she explained. He has a very mild persona, humble from head to toe.
The souvenir shop has books about the different battles of the Holy Land. One particular book was about Jere, MIA. He went missing about 586 BC. Lamentations over his disappearance could be heard for miles, or so the story goes. I heard it straight from a Lachish citizen. One hemi-Ahmadiyan Muslim was there and he verified the story of Jere. Jerusalem, at the world’s most fought over section of land in human history, has a violent past. According to prophecy, the future doesn’t look good either. My brother Philipp said he had a revelation and everything will turn out fine in the end. He asked me if I believed him. I said, “nope, terminate this charade right now!” He said “It’s the truth, read it for yourself!”
Lisa, the souvenir shop attendant, has a sister who works for the chronicle. She is a photojournalist. Her name is Jo. Nahant, Massechusetts is where she lives, but she travels a lot for the newspaper. Egypt had a big story break last month. The editor wanted the best her paper could send, so they sent Jo. Shu, an Egyptian god of the air, was up in arms over smog in Cairo. All they got was a picture of a dust storm. I think it was a hoax. I told my friend Dan, I eliminated Cairo from my travel itinerary.
Philipp wanted to take a cruise from Finland to Scotland, over Christmas. I protested, “We’ll, freeze!” “Kiel Canal is the way through Denmark,” he said. “It will be fun and I can catch up on my physics paper while we are at sea,” he said. “Now, lets see where did I leave off? Oh yes, the deuteron.” “O, my Philipp. You’re a sick man. A crowd of judges wouldn’t convict me if I tossed you overboard.” Well, we went on the cruise and just like I said, I froze! “Chari! Ahoy, Chari! Wait for me,” a voice said. It was the cruiseline dance instructor. She was late to port and almost missed the ship. The ship’s chef happened to be a college friend of mine, Gilliam Eccles. I, as tester of food, got half price on my cruise tickets for my services. That made the trip more worthwhile. Ship security was provided by the National Intelligence Authority. Zeph, a NIA hand-picked agent, was head of security. H.A. Bakk, Ukrainian composer and conductor, personally headed a shipboard concert on the final day of the cruise. It was the highlight of the trip! Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
So, how many did you find? I would love to hear how you did on this! I’m looking forward to seeing you all in person soon. Remember, patience is a virtue!
Grace and Peace,
Clayton Arnold, Lottie Barlow (Marilyn Willhoit’s mother), Bailey Brown, Huck Bruce, Sherry Coleman (Wendy Sifford’s cousin), Betty Deibel, David Doyle, Loretta Grannis, Peggy Gray (Cedar Ridge), Pat Grenier and Family, Frank Henson, Bud Holder, Sheila Jameson (Cedar Ridge) Tommy Kearns, Denver King (friend of Buddy & Bette Sledd), Kelli Mastin (Woody Richie's daughter), Herbert Allen Moore, Sue McKee, Robin Paulson, Cathy Peveler, Gerald Poe, Tallu Quinn, Cecil Ritchie, Alex Rosenbaum, Jack Sifford, Betty Smith (Cedar Ridge), Craig Smith, Terry Stinson, Anne VonGruenigen, Devon Williams, Mission Personnel, Our Country, Covid-19 patients in Cynthiana, in Kentucky, in the United States, and the World, Thankfulness for the Covid Vaccine
The Food Pantry Item for May: jello or pudding. You can drop off at the church Monday through Friday from 9:00 AM till 2:00 PM. Thank you to everyone who donates to the Food Pantry.
Believe It or Not Book Club
Our book for May is Untamed by Glennon Doyle.
Book Club meets in person at the church on May 18 at noon.
Everyone is welcome, join us for Believe It or Not Book Club.
Sunday School by Zoom is on Sundays at 10:15 AM - 10:45 AM. It's easy to join the class by using the Zoom invitation link (the same one you use for Worship) sent to you by e-mail. Once you are in the class on Zoom, please stay for church at 11:00 AM!
If you know anyone who would like to join us for Sunday School and Worship on Sunday mornings, please send their email address to Tina at email@example.com. It is an easy way to invite a friend!
New Book Club – Reading Crew Review
Have you read any good books lately? We would love to hear about it. The Fellowship and Membership Committee is starting a way to keep in touch and share good books. The "Reading Crew Review" Group will meet on ZOOM at 7:00 pm on the fourth Thursday of each month.
Our first meeting will be Thursday, May 27th at 7:00 pm. We would love for you to join us and tell about a book that you've read that you enjoyed, were challenged by, etc. Please mark your calendars and don’t forget to join us and check us out. Invite a friend because you know the old saying... the more the merrier!
Let’s play a game of Jeopardy!
The game show that recently lost its beloved long time host. What is JEOPARDY? How about a game of Jeopardy via Zoom!! On Friday, May 14, at 7:00, you get to play! Ask a friend to join you and Zoom in for a truckload of fun!
Vacation Bible School News
Vacation Bible School in June! Mark it on your calendar for June 14-16, 5:30-6:30. We will hold an outdoor Bible School under the new portico. Our theme is, "Put on the whole armor of God." We will learn what we need to arm up for strength in the Lord. Bring a friend, and join us in the parking lot!
Presbyterian Women Birthday Offering
The Birthday Offering is one of Presbyterian Women’s two offerings. Received in the spring each year, it gives women a tangible way to celebrate the blessings in their lives. The 2021 offering will fund 3 projects this year.
1. Garden Gate Ranch,Inc
Education Center Renovation, Des Moines, Iowa
This is a Christian organization that provides safe housing and restorative and transitional services for sexually-exploited women and their children.
2. Memorial Drive Ministries,Inc
Gymnasium Capital Improvements, Stone Mountain, Ga.
A partnership between Presbytery of Greater Atlanta and six other churches. The offering will provide a
desperately needed new roof. This fix will ensure that they can continue to provide a place of welcome to diverse worshipping communities and innovative community services.
3. Nkhoma Mission Hospital
Women’s Health Center/OBGYN Theatre, Nkhoma, Malawi
Located in southeastern Africa, funds will provide an OBGYN specific operating room-decreasing delays and reducing maternal deaths caused by having to move patients a significant distance across hospital grounds.
Donations can be sent to the church office to Tina Swinford at PO Box 456 or Marilyn Richie at 366 Ammerman Pike. Make checks to Presbyterian Women and note in memo line for Birthday Offering.
Thank you for remembering and supporting this important offering of the Presbyterian Women.
Chairman of PW Birthday Offering Committee
Cedar Ridge Service
While Cedar Ridge is allowing limited visiting
for the residents, large groups are still
not allowed. There will be no service there in May.
There is a devotional app members can look at that is available in the app store on your phone. It is called D365. You can also find this on our church website at cynthianapresbyterian.com.
We hope and pray everyone is doing well – please reach out if you have a need; we have volunteers ready to assist you! Tina is in the church office from 9:00 AM until 2:00 PM – Monday – Friday at 234-2961.
If you would like to make an electronic donation, here is our QR code.
Scan with your phone and the site will come up where you can donate.